Tuesday, January 15, 2013

Dog Shaming

How's your week going? Kicking major booty? Same here! IT'S LIKE WE'RE LIVING THE SAME LIFE!

Since we're practically the same person, I know you're also going through a love/hate phase with your puppy right now. Sure your puppy - let's call her Thelma - is adorable, but there are times when you find yourself thinking that maybe getting a dog wasn't the most awesome idea in the world, right? Guys, I feel the same way about Helga the Wonder Dachshund! 

Fellow puppy love-haters, let's list the damn it inducing crimes that our dogs have committed since coming to live with us, shall we? I'll start with my dog, you fill me in on yours later. (Really though, our dogs are exactly alike though so it's kind of like I'm answering for both of us, right?!)
  • She barks at everyone who enters through the front door. If we're being specific, she barks like a drug dog with her nose to the tires of a coke filled Econovan. 
  • She willingly goes outside to do her business, but refuses to actually move from the patio until you move too. She then runs away at full speed when you say it's time to go inside. You're not fast enough to catch her and she mocks you with those sad brown eyes.
  • She shreds paper all over the house. Double points if she's unrolled an entire roll of TP and shredded it on a soaking wet bathroom floor.
  • She crawls to the absolute very back of the kids' bunk bed and poops multiple times each week. She poops in a spot that your adult-sized body cannot reach so that you have to remove the mattress and climb over the metal slats like Mission Impossible
  • She sleeps in your bed - preferably between your feet - but will only lie down once she's attacked you for at least 5 full minutes. An attack from your puppy is half licking and half chewing, and sometimes proceeded by intense digging and burrowing into your quilts.
  • She has a habit of stealing food right out of your toddler's hands and your toddler has a habit of feeding Puppy everything he thinks is too yucky.
  • She has peed in your bed a few times. A few times, you've threatened to donate her to a Chinese restaurant after she's peed in your bed.
  • She claims every item left unattended as her own. The puppy now owns several pairs of knee-high stockings, clean diapers, approximately 72 Barbie dolls, a few dish towels, and 6 months worth of magazines.
  • She jumps into the bathtub every single time the bathroom door is open - whether there's water in it or not. Apparently the tub is her happy place, but once she's inside, she's stuck and proceeds to howl at full volume until she's rescued.
Alas, the good outweighs the bad and you love little Thelma just as much as I love Helga. They're worth all of the trouble, and you'd be lying if you said you didn't love having warm feet at night.

Helga: ridiculously awesome, even when she's asleep.
******
Have I said before that I love buying things? I loooove buying things! I especially love buying things for my girls and as luck would have it, I have lots of friends who make adorable things that I can buy. FOR MY GIRLS! (I don't get into as much trouble when I buy things for the kids. Buying things for myself? That's another story...)

This week, I'm giving away 4 hand made hair bows from Emily's BowTique! 

#1

#2

#3

#4
The rules:
  1. LIKE Emily's BowTique on Facebook.
  2. LIKE High Heels & Dirty Dishes on Facebook or FOLLOW HHDD on Twitter.
  3. Leave a comment here on the ole blog once you've done both and tell me which of the bows you would like to win out of the four.
  4. For an extra entry:  leave a separate comment with your tips on getting Helga to quit pooping under the bunk beds!
Winner will be announced on Saturday, January 19 and entry cutoff is 6PM CST.