Wednesday, April 24, 2013

A Little TLC

Last night I came home from work feeling yucky. Headache, upset stomach, you name it - I felt it.

Because I have a husband who cares (or knows I'm like a child when I don't feel good), Chris was nice enough to let me go lay down while he made supper. Go lay down? Yes. I would absolutely go lay down!

Do you know the only downfall to being puny and going to bed after your kids haven't seen you since 7:30AM? Your kids want to lay down with you... all three of them... and they talk the entire time... and jump on the bed, too. 

I started on my back, eyes closed to block out the light with Caillou blasting on the TV. UGH, CAILLOU I HATE YOU! Marlee on my right covering me with my robe, Miles on my left attempting to steal my pillow. 

Mia? Mia walked in about every two minutes to scold her siblings for bothering Mommy when she didn't feel good. "Miles! Marrrleeeee! Get! Out! Leave Mommy alone!"

They'd leave, they'd return. I'd flip, I'd flop. I'd feel like every little movement was enough to make me want to throw up.

Finally, I found the perfect position: on my stomach with both hands above my head, my left leg cocked to the side. Ah, comfort!

After a few minutes, my stomach started to feel better and so did my head. My sweet little guy climbs up into the big bed and snuggles right up next to me. 

"Mahmeeee.... ah'sick?"

"Yeah, buddy. Mommy's sick."


"Ok, buddy. Fix Mommy so I feel better."

And at that point, Miles proceeded to pull up the bottom of my shirt. I presumed it was to rub my back because that's what I do for him when he feels yucky.


He then blew raspberries on my back for a full minute.

"I'm up! I'm better! I'm up!"

Thursday, April 18, 2013

Ole Blue Eyes

Before bed last night, my sweet baby boy climbed into my lap rubbing his sleepy little eyes...

Ouch! Mommy! Ah'eyes!

Your eyes? Do they hurt? My poor baby!

Ah'eyes! Hurts, Mommy!

Why do they hurt?

Ah'eyes - BLUE!

They hurt because they're blue?

Ah'yup! Blue!

And then he opened his eyes really, really wide to show me how blue his eyes are. 

Brown, you guys. His eyes are a really dark brown. Always have been, always will be. He's pretty adorable though, so we'll let his mistake slide!

Tuesday, April 16, 2013

Yuppie Beer (or Peach Tea)

Turn a blind eye to those cookie crumbs, ladies and gents
Have you ever had one of these bad boys?

If you haven't, you're missing out! An Arizona peach tea really tastes like peach Kool Aid, but with more of a juice flavor and absolutely no tea flavor - and it's only a buck for this tall ass can!

The downfall to drinking an Arizona peach tea is that every single time I buy one for the drive home, I worry that other drivers will glance over and think I'm drinking a 40 oz of beer. Sure, it'd obviously be some yuppie beer with that peach and yellow checkered can, but I'm a woman in a Yukon so it's kind of plausible, right? Girly drinks, sometimes you just can't resist them.

As I'm driving down the highway, that familiar peach tea paranoia starts to settle in: What if a cop pulls me over and I'm drinking this huge can of tea? Am I driving too fast? Am I swerving? GOD DAMN IT IT'S NOT EVEN ALCOHOL!

So I begin to rationalize with myself as to why I won't get pulled over on suspicion of an open container: I barely go the speed limit - let alone above the speed limit. I drive a definite mom car and the back is filled with booster seats, Berenstain Bears books, and Matchbox cars. I'm 'rocking out' to The Lumineers, even - that's not exactly troublemaker music!

I change the station and to my delight, Kenny Loggins comes on. (Don't even try to say that you don't like the song from Caddyshack because everybody likes the song from Caddyshack!) Just as I get my best gopher dance moves in full force...


Yes, a turkey, and as I'm yelling out "Holy shit!" and swerving it comes to me that at this very moment I probably do appear to be driving around drunk as a skunk...

Monday, April 15, 2013


I started writing a post before I left for work this morning. It was going to be a funny little story about a recent family shopping trip. All afternoon, I told myself "You have to finish writing tonight. You have to write because you feel good when you tell a story." Now? Now I just feel emotional and raw, so please excuse me.

My heart breaks for all of the people hurt today at the Boston Marathon. I hurt for them. I feel sadness for them. I ache for their friends and family. I yearn for a way to ease their pain. 

Why do I care? Because I'm a human being and we humans are a compassionate species. We feel for people whether friend or foe, neighbor or stranger. We should anyway - we should feel and we should care because someone, somewhere, is in despair. 

Yet, almost immediately after news broke about Boston there were people blaming the President, questioning how much longer US citizens would get to keep their guns, remarking that the government was probably behind this tragedy to put fear in the citizens and control us. Really?! Innocent lives were lost - that's a little more important than political preferences or weapons rights, and certainly more important than conspiracy theories!

Care, people! This is bigger than you! People died - a child died - and you're worried about something other than the people who are suffering? It's disgusting and it's ignorant! You're better than that because you, too, are a human being above all else!

 I try to remain unbiased on this blog, but being human, even I have my limits as to how much disappointment I can handle. The fact that fellow Americans immediately think of themselves when hearing the news of something like the Boston Marathon bombings makes my heart hurt. It hurts in a way that makes me pity those who cannot see past their own needs and desires, those who are too bitter with hatred to mourn for what has been taken away from another. That being said, I'll wrap up my post with just a few more words.

To those in Boston: I may only be one person, but my prayers are with you and yours in your time of suffering. If that comforts only one person, then it's worth it.

To you, cynical Americans, a simple reminder: be kind, be caring, be humble. Be human.

Wednesday, April 10, 2013

I Have No Idea How To Be Complex

I've been doing a lot of reflecting lately regarding my adult life. 

  • I'm turning 30 this year and I'm pretty much fine with it. I feel like I look my age and act somewhere between 20 and 40 depending on my company and whether or not I've eaten in the last hour. Hungry = grumpy, etc, etc, etc.
  • I've lived in the same neighborhood of my hometown for the last 20 years.When I moved out of my parents' house, I only looked at one house and bought it because it was a block away from Dad & Mom's. I've lived here for 9 years and we're moving next month to a house across town. The notion of giving directions to my house without saying "Do you know where the ball diamond is?" just seems foreign at this point, but it's going to happen!
  • I've only had two 'real' jobs in my adult life. Once at a car dealership right after high school and the one I have now - and the job I have now? It's actually the same job I had when I was still in high school. The only difference is that I get paid more now, and I'm only allowed to wear jeans on Fridays  now. Hey, you win some, you lose some!
  • Marriage? Nah, never was a big priority when I was younger. The only reason I ever entertained the thought of a husband back then was because a man would protect me if we ever had a burglar. Now, married - and very happily so - but protect? Chris sleeps like he's been gassed before an operation. It's a good thing we don't have much that anyone would want to steal...
  • I never, ever wanted children when I was growing up and then... BAM! Mom of 3! When Miles was born, we talked about maybe trying for a fourth baby once he started school. He's two now and I know that realistically, we won't have any more children if we can prevent it. I've accepted it, but it's been hard.
What does all of this mean?
  • I have both wrinkles and pimples, and I'm easily distracted!
  • My sense of adventure is non-existent!
  • Ditto for ambition!
  • It's a good thing I'm a light sleeper because someone has to save us all!
  • Someone really needs to let me hold their baby soon!
(That was semi-deep, wasn't it? Not really. I just thought it was a little better than my original idea of telling you that every Wednesday night, I watch The Rachel Zoe Project and then Duck Dynasty after that. I'm probably the least complex person you've ever met, or not met.)

Thursday, April 4, 2013

Bonding Over Gravy

When you were in school, did you hate school lunch? If you did, I pity you because lunch at my school was awesome. Luckily for Mia, it's still awesome and this conversation from last night proves it.

ME: Sis, what'd you have for lunch today?

MIA: Chicken.

ME: What kind of chicken? Chicken nuggets or chicken patty?

MIA: Chicken patty!

ME: Ooh! With mashed potatoes and gravy?

MIA: Yes!

ME: The yellow gravy?! You know I love the yellow gravy!

MIA: No, the white gravy!

ME: Ugh... with hot rolls?

MIA: Yep! And butter!

ME: Did you take half of the butter and put it in your potatoes?

MIA: No, I put half on my roll and a little blob on top of my chicken so it got all melty!

ME: Oh yum! Gosh I miss school lunch!

MIA: Mommy, it's kind of funny that you remember everything they serve...

Seriously though, that yellow gravy is the stuff dreams are made of - not quite 'cinnamon roll on taco salad day' dreams, or 'toasted cheese sandwich on soup day' dreams, but still fantastic! 

Monday, April 1, 2013

No Babies In Mar's Room

Look you guys, I'm a terrible liar especially when it comes to other adults, so April Fool's Day is really just another day to mess with my kids.

Today, I pulled the classic "I'm pregnant!". They're 7 and 4, and pretty much the only people left in the world I could pull this on. 


I see therapy sessions in their future...