Thursday, May 30, 2013

Mornin', Sunshine!

It's a rainy, yucky morning here in GCMO. Gray skies, drizzle, and plenty of thunder - Mia took advantage of the blah weather and slept in. 

Sleeping in drives Marlee crazy...

MAR: Mommy, can you help me wake Mia up?

ME: Just go down and ask her if she's ready for breakfast yet.

MAR: Ok!


MIA: Thanks a lot for telling Marlee to wake me up by using the tweezers on my eyelashes, Mommy!

ME: WHAT?! Marlee!

MAR: She wasn't waking up and I tried really hard to be gentle, but Mia just punched me in the stomach! AND I WAS BEING NICE!

ME: You don't wake someone up by using the tweezers on them, Ladybug! Christ! Give me those damn tweezers! 

Tuesday, May 28, 2013

Here Kitty, Kitty

You know how sometimes you get this kitten and she's adorable, and you love her to pieces? Then your (future) husband accidentally runs over her and breaks her hip, rendering her to be an indoor kitty forever.

You're cool with that because you love the kitty and want her to be safe. Plus, you get to see her all the time and not wonder where she is, so yes, cool.

Then sometimes you might've had babies and your kitty decides that she hates the babies (hate is strong, more like she's terrified of the babies), and wants to be an outdoor kitty. So she goes outside and then comes inside when she's forced to like, say, when it's raining or blizzardy.

You're cool with that because you love the kitty and want her to feel safe. Plus, you get to see her all the time because you're now the only one she'll come to, so yes, cool.

Then you know how you move to a house across town and you can't find your kitty for the first few days, so you have to go over to the old house and holler like a crazy cat lady at 11:30PM on Memorial Day? No, because that only happens in my life.

She's here at the new house now (which by the way, the new house is wonderful and I'll tell you all about it later this week), and she is hating us with a rage more fierce than all of the fires of Hades.

We bathed her... FYI cats hate baths, friends. She bit Chris. I laughed.

These are the best pictures I could get of Minnie hating us ferociously. You'll have to forgive me for the blur!

Wednesday, May 22, 2013

So This Is Happening ...

10 P.M. on a Wednesday night and I'm in the back yard spray painting a nightstand for Mia's new room.

She could probably care less if she even has a nightstand, but me? Obsessed.

Come on though, her room is going to look ridiculous without a gold nightstand, right? 

You guys, tell me I'm right. For the sake of my sanity, tell me I'm absolutely right...

Sunday, May 19, 2013

Learning About Mullets

We're watching The Little Rascals for the first time ever.

I taught Miles to say "Hey! Nice Azoogas!" a few weeks ago, so you can understand that this is a big, big, big deal!

Cue convo during the opeing scene where Petey the dog rounds up the members of the He-Man Woman Haters Club for an emergency meeting...

MAR: Aw! Dat doggie is so supa cute!

ME: He is, isn't he!

MAR: Yook! Hahahaha he ringed da doowbell!

ME: Here comes Froggy!

MAR: ... Is dat a boy or a girl?

ME: It's a boy. Froggy's a boy. Listen to his voice!

MAR: Why does he have yong hair? Yong hair yike a girl!

ME: Because that's how boys wore their hair when Mommy was little. It's called a mullet.

MAR: A muwwett? Why would a boy want hair yike dat?

ME: Nobody knows, it's one of the biggest mysteries known to mankind.

MAR: What?!

Friday, May 17, 2013

Tip Jar

This baby started out as an allowance jar. The kids were going to do chores and each Sunday they would get paid. The money would be put into that Mason jar and once a month, they'd get to go on a spending spree. 

Well, I'm terrible about the follow through. We charted chores for two days and then forgot about it for a week. I blame Pinterest for filling me with inspiration to start things I know damn well I will never finish.

Now we just kind of put our spare change in it and call it the tip jar. Spare as in, whatever comes out of our pockets, right? Mwahahaha.... oh think again! Spare as in Marlee likes to clean out my entire purse and wallet, and I don't realize everything is gone until the next day. Spare as in then I don't have any money for the drink machine at work. SPARE AS IN THEN MOMMY DIES OF CAFFEINE WITHDRAWS! 

Moral of the story - I have no loose change in my purse right now. I'll bet it's 20lbs lighter.

Bonus: According to Marlee, Miles took a twenty dollar bill out of the tip jar today and "cutted it wite in haff wiff da scissaz!" A twenty that Mia got for her birthday - the same twenty that Marlee's been obsessed with for a week. Nothing like owing your 8 year old more cash than you actually keep in your wallet that is currently empty! By the way, Marlee really REALLY likes cutting things at the moment. I'm pretty sure that she cut up Mia's birthday money and isn't brave enough to confess yet.

Bonus x2:  I know that Mar definitely had the scissors at some point this afternoon though because she snuck off and cut all of the elastic off of the waistband of her undies. Super stylish, but not nearly as hip as the giant square she cut from the hem of her dress. 

The tip jar will be officially known as Marlee's Destruction Fund from this point on.

Tuesday, May 14, 2013

Anti-Pants Tuesday

Today was one of those days where I hated every item of clothing that I own. 

I woke up, couldn't find the dress I wanted, and then had a hissy fit of epic proportions at 7AM. 

"Too tight... too short... too booby... too much effort..."

Someone (ok, it was me) didn't feel like doing laundry over the weekend. Meh... all of my clean, work appropriate clothes were pants. Ugh! Guts!*

The forecast said 90 degrees today and I did not want to wear pants, but alas, the pants won. It was either wear the stupid pants or call in a personal day. Friends, I handled the situation like a normal adult would but only because I'm saving up my vacation time for the move. 

And then maybe I bought a new dress on my lunch hour...

The End

*Guts is Marlee's favorite curse word at the moment. G-U-T-S. It's a little more appropriate than F-U-C-K. Especially when everyone knows who she gets her potty mouth from - her daddy.

Sunday, May 12, 2013

Mama's Day

Mother's Day always reminds me of my first baby, Mia Simone. 

I was just devastated that my water didn't break on Mother's Day 2005. I was 39 weeks pregnant, miserable, impatient, and Lawd Jesus did I want to snuggle that baby girl! Meeting your firstborn on Mother's Day, wouldn't that be something special?!

She came the day after Mother's Day, on May 9, and she's one of the best gifts I've ever been given.

We celebrated her 8th birthday on Thursday.

Before she left for school ...

At school ...

After school got out ...

And again at supper time ...

On Friday, she made us proud by getting 5th place in the Second Grade Spelling Bee at school. Your cup runneth over? My cup freaking explodeth...

 "Hi, my name is Jen and I'm the mom tearing up every time 
my girl looks for me and flashes me a thumbs up!"

And she made me something special. I'm considering framing it because it made my heart so insanely happy.

My name is Mia. I am 8 years old. My mom's name is Jennifer. She is 20 something years old. For work, she works at Casco. She loves to cook but she hates to clean up our messes. She is always saying, "The dog is adorable". My favorite meal my mom cooks is pizza-burgers. She is best at her blog. She is not very good at training the dog to stop biting me. Her favorite color is red. My mom and I like to jump on the trampoline. She loves me because I'm the only good kid and I love her because she is my mom.

We've been busy lately - winding down the school year, and revving up for our big move in a few weeks. Things have been up and down and back up again, but the thing that always remains, is the love our family has for each other. It is constant, it is strong, and it is absolutely unconditional.

Celebrate today, friends. 

Sunday, May 5, 2013

I Need A Cutie Mark Now

For those of you who don't know, my girls are obsessed with My Little Pony. Seriously, the Pony to Barbie ratio in our house is 4:1. 

At any given time, we're discussing the characters as if they were members of our immediate family. Mia's birthday is Thursday, so obviously, we've increased the frequency of Pony-themed conversations lately...

MIA: Mommy, if you were a My Little Pony, which one would you be?

ME: (absolutely clueless) Hmm... I don't know! Who do you think I would be?

MIA: Well, I think you would be The Great & Powerful Trixie!

ME: (still clueless) Oh yeah?! What's she like?

MIA: Well, she gets REALLY mad sometimes and it's funny to everyone else... but she's also nice sometimes and she knows how to do, like, everything in the world!

ME: (giggling) Awww thanks, Sis...

And then I couldn't help myself - I asked Marlee...

ME: Boo, which Pony do you think acts like Mommy? Mia thinks it's Trixie.

MAR: Um... not Twixie... I would say... Rawity!

ME: Rarity? Why do you say Rarity?

MAR: Because! She weewy yikes fashion AND she doesn't yike to get dirty! Jus' yike you, Mommy!

So let's get this straight - at 7 and 4, my daughters have picked up on Mommy's tendency to overreact, my obsession with clothing, my avoidance of anything outdoors, and the fact that I am the queen of useless knowledge?

Nailed it, ladies! Totally nailed it!