Thursday, July 31, 2014

Dial 1-900-Linden

{This post is brought to you by Netflix. All words and opinions
 are mine and do not directly reflect those of my sponsor.}

Ugh... July has freaking flown by, right? It's definitely flown by - don't even question it!

I'm serious, we've been so busy this month and it's been fun busy (as opposed to our typical "Please, someone kill me" busy), but now the summer is winding down and we're gearing up for back to school. Actually, back to school for Mia and first year of school for Marlee! Yes, Sherwood citizens, you'll be blessed with a little gift who goes by the nickname of Ladybug. We're trying hard to convince her that it's a school rule that all students must wear pants while school is in session, but she thinks we're full of shit. I can hardly wait for our first call from the principal...

As the last few weeks of summer wind down, all I've been able to think about is this:



Yes, kids, Season 4 of The Killing begins 8/1 on Netflix! I'm going to binge on this SO.DAMN.HARD. I'm bursting with fruit flavor over the return of my show! 

These are my main questions:
  1. Is Linden going to recover from the finale of Season 3? I think she's going to be a basketcase.
  2. Is Holder going to be the 'normal' person in this crime-fighting duo? Frighteningly awesome! 
  3. Jack, do you even love us anymore, Little Man? I think no. You only love your dad now.
  4. ARE THEY EVER GOING TO SLEEP TOGETHER?
  5. ARE THEY EVER GOING TO SLEEP TOGETHER?
  6. ARE THEY EVER GOING TO SLEEP TOGETHER?
  7. ARE THEY EVER GOING TO SLEEP TOGETHER?
  8. ARE THEY EVER GOING TO SLEEP TOGETHER?
  9. ARE THEY EVER GOING TO SLEEP TOGETHER?
  10. ARE THEY EVER GOING TO SLEEP TOGETHER?
I'm a simple gal. Toss in a tortured romance and I'm hooked...

My schedule is pretty much booked up for the next week. If anyone needs me after 7PM any time between 8/1 and 8/8 - just don't bother. I'm busy!

And for those of you wondering what else we've been binging on lately:

  • Coke with the names on the side of the can. I never get cans that say Chris, but that's a good thing because I wouldn't share with him anyway.
  • Sherlock. My mind palace is a complete clusterfuck. As always.
  • Kazoozles. They're heaven. Of equal importance to me as my 3 sweet children.
  • The Wonder Years. I've said it a million times: Kevin & Winnie are the gold standard for true love!
  • French Lavender & Honey lotion and perfume from Bath & Body Works. Oddly smells like nectarines and not lavender. It's nice, not your typical old lady or dirty hippie lavender.
  • Hemlock Grove. Sure, it's super weird and it gave me nightmares, but it's one of those guilty pleasures you just can't quit cold turkey!
  • Instagram stalking. Have you ever seen Kelly Oxford's cats? Jessica Seinfeld's Rick Ross obsession? Or ANY post by Johnny Weir? This is my life and if being a creeper is wrong, I don't want to be right. (@jenpalis if you'd like to creep random pictures of Helga being ABSOLUTELY ADORABLE)
What are you binging on these days? Don't say ice cream or cocaine...those are both forbidden in this house.





Monday, June 30, 2014

Hello, Dearie

Today while talking to a coworker, she said "I wish I could be like that - you're just happy and laughing all of the time"... and it almost killed me.

I haven't been happy in about a month. Sure, I've been happy, but I've also been stressed, emotional, and bitter - and I absolutely HATE that.

"It's a conscious effort - to be happy all of the time. I had to basically train myself to be like this years ago. My two mantras in life are 1.) Everything happens for a reason, and 2.) If it's a bad day, get up and start over the next day."

Is it really a conscious effort though - this whole business of smiling through your frustration? I don't think it is anymore. I think it's a coping mechanism and it works really well sometimes until I hit a wall that I can't break through. At that point it just feels phoney and so for the last month - despite many moments of awesomeness with my family and friends - I've retreated into my own little world. 

Well, maybe not my own little world, but the town of Storybrooke at least. Every night after supper, after the kids are in bed, we haul the snacks upstairs and indulge in "our show". Escapism at it's finest, y'all!

Guys, I've been bingewatching "Once Upon A Time" on Netflix like my life depends on it... Do you even watch this show? BECAUSE YOU FREAKING SHOULD!!!

Quick synopsis: Evil Queen casts a spell over everyone in the Enchanted Forrest to get revenge on Snow White and Prince Charming. The spell causes some of the inhabitants of the Enchanted Forrest to be transported to a new realm in Storybrooke, Maine. The spell causes them to lose all of their memories of who they were in the Enchanted Forrest, and the rest...#spoilers...

In my own little fairy tale, there's good and there's evil (I'm good, duh) just like in the show, and sometimes good gets the upper hand while evil plots its revenge. Right now, evil has the has the upper hand in my little saga. And. It. Blows. (Oh, I know- terribly passive aggressive of me, but I can't go into the details. Once a tease, always a tease...) 

If you watch OUAT though, you know that that evil queen eventually slips up and hangs itself, allowing the good to defeat her. Then, everyone in the kingdom gets to live happily ever after until the next battle begins.

I feel like I'm half fan-girling over this show and half rambling psychotically... basically, though, I'm telling myself that it's time to start over and be happy. You can't change what's already happened, but you can be happy while you prepare for what comes next. 

"Believing in the possibility of a happy ending is a very powerful thing..." - Snow White, OUAT

Also

"Jennifer, stop being a pissy bitch because it's bringing morale down..." - Me, to my self

P.S. For the record, Rumplestiltskin is the most perfect character in the history of Storybrooke. It needed to be said. You're welcome, dearies.