Saturday, February 23, 2013

My 4 Year Old Wasn't Impressed With Magic Mike

Have you ever wanted to watch something you know really isn't appropriate for your kids to watch, but you do anyway because you figure that they won't pay attention to it?

So that happened last night.... Magic Mike...

Let's clear up a few things real quick, ok: 
  1. I'd never seen the movie! Duh, I know it's about strippers, but I figured it would be like one of those stupid funny movies that occasionally shows a naked butt. Big deal on butts, we see them constantly in this house!
  2. Marlee was the only child awake and she was completely engrossed in her "Build Your Own Tooth Fairy" game on the laptop. You could've driven a trash truck through the front door and she wouldn't have budged.
  3. It was time to watch something other than cooking shows. I swear, I've gained 10lbs since I left work on Wednesday!
I start watching the movie and my little ladybug is playing her game. If there was a part I anticipated getting raunchy, I would turn the volume way down and stare at her as if it were going to prevent her from looking up from her game!

All went well until I went to the kitchen to get a drink... "Dah...Daah.Daah.Daah." Son of a bitch it was on the "Pony" scene!

My kids love that song and I knew Marlee was going to pay attention. I was mortified! Yet, I got out a notebook and wrote down her thoughts on the routine for your entertainment. You're welcome!

"Mommy! Mommy! Dis is my song!"

"Yook, Mommy! I can jump yike him! I can jump higher den him!"

"Wow he is a reewy good dancer, isn't he?!"

"Can I do dis when I gwow up? Pweeeez!"

"Oh. My. Dodd. What is he DOING?!"

"What's wong wif those yadies? They keep scweeming and they're all giving him all the dollas."

"MOMMY! Why would you even wanna watch dis?!"

"Um... dis is embawassing. Let's neva speak of dis again."

We turned it off after that!

I knew she'd be listening for them to play another song that she knew, and I'm not quite ready to have a talk with her about the boy putting his wiener on the lady's face while he's dancing!