Wednesday, February 6, 2013

Daddy's Conference Call

This is how a typical phone call works at our house...

"Ya'll be real quiet for a few minutes so Mommy can make this phone call, please!"


3-2-1... Then all hell breaks loose..

It's like a primal instinct kicks in and causes children to act like complete lunatics when the phone begins to ring. There you go, a ringing telephone is like a dog whistle for littles.

At this point, I'm used to it. Sure I still hope that they'll actually stay quiet when I'm on the phone with the mortgage company, but do I honestly expect things to go smoothly? Nope!

Imagine the pure enjoyment I got when Chris called this morning to tell me how his conference call had went...

CHRIS: You know how I had that conference call this morning?

ME: Yeah, how'd it go?

CHRIS: Two minutes in, Miles is right next to me yelling "I chips, Dah-yee? I chips?". So I got him chips and he went to the living room. As soon as I got started talking again, he runs in again screaming "Chips! Dah-yee! Hell-ya eat chips!".

ME: (uncontrollable laughter)

CHRIS: So then I had to go in and steal the Cheetos away from the dog. When he finally calmed down I turned on Caillou for him and he was great until freaking Netflix froze up. "Dah-yeeeeeeeeee! Caillouuuuuuuuuu! Dah-yeeeeeeeeeee!"

ME: So you fixed it and then he was good again, right? Do you think the people on the conference call could hear him?

CHRIS: Um yeah, pretty sure they heard him yelling but then he was pretty good for a while...until he pooped his pants. I had to change his diaper while I was on the phone and I don't think I had myself muted at that point. Have you ever changed a diaper while leading a conference call?

ME: (more uncontrollable laughter) No, babe. I've never done that!

Mr. Palis, you've one-upped me as a parent today and I bow to your greatness!


  1. hahahaha! He was still going on about it when I got there at noon. Poor Daddy, hahahah, welcome to the real world of parenting. I asked if any of the other managers on the phone with him had kids......He said only 1 and hers is a baby baby....I said way to break them in!

  2. He gives me hope for men, who are becoming fathers any minute! Cheers to you Mr. Palis!

  3. Freaking Netflix indeed. Fine job, Mr. Palis. Exceptional valor in the face of surprise bowel movements. Well done.

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