Thursday, March 7, 2013

House Hunters

We went and looked at new houses last week. 

Yes, I went an entire week without telling you. I'm terrible, aren't I? Please accept my most sincere apology and let's vow to be the kind of friends who don't keep secrets from each other. Now that we've made up, I'll tell you about our adventure! 

First off, we left the kids at home with Granny. If you've never taken small children to tour large empty houses please take my advice when I tell you to avoid it like the plague. Kids in large rooms without any furniture turns into a God damn free for all and you spend most of the time chasing kids and apologizing for their unruly behavior. (Or, that's what you do if you're Chris and Jen Palis. If you have well-behaved children then you're probably safe to take them along.)

Ironically, our real estate agent brought her little girl along with her to the homes tour. She was an angel the entire time and also one heck of a guide herself - "Ooooh look at this master! You're gonna love it, I promise!"

I watch a lot of HGTV. A LOT! I thought I'd prepared myself for touring homes and what to look for, which questions to ask, etc. Yet... as soon as we walked in to the first house, I turned in to that dumb girl whose comments range in depth from "Wow this is pretty!" to "This is so pretty!" to "Aww, look how pretty this is!"

My dumb kicked into overdrive, but by the time we reached the basement of House 1, I knew that the place was too small for us despite being pretty.

House 2 started similarly with a cute little girl beginning her tour before her mama got the keys out of the door. "Uh that wallpaper in the kitchen has got to go..." I totally agree. I'm just not big on wallpaper.

This place is so perfect that I'm willing to deal with the paisley wallpaper for a while if it means that I can live there. I swear on my love of peanut butter, I heard angels sing as we walked through each room! 4 bedrooms, 3 bathrooms, a finished basement, cathedral ceilings, whirlpool tub, 2 car garage, a closet that's bigger than our bathroom and have mercy - A MOTHER EFFING DISHWASHER!

Then high on the optimism of possibly finding the perfect home, we were eager to tour House 3 and get home to tell the kids that they would be getting their own bedrooms soon. 

House 3 was right next door to House 2 and we knew before we went in that it was a foreclosure. At $30,000 less than the other houses and close to the same size as the others, we thought it was worth a shot.

Oh House 3, I had so much hope for you! I figured it would need fresh paint and some appliances and we'd be good to go - dude, I was soooo wrong. Carpets were stained, holes in the wall, moldy basement. It was just gross! We are definitely not fix-it people as you may recall... A total bust!

"Uh... if we wanted a piece of junk money pit, we'd just stay in our house..." - direct quote from my husband.

Needless to say, House 2 is the one we want. We've lusted over it for 7 days now and have been in some heated arguments over super important things like paint schemes and sofa fabric. If we're still married by the time we sign papers, it'll be a friggin' miracle... 

We haven't put an offer in yet, but if you're the kind of person who sends out good vibes or prayers, would you mind throwing some our way? I promise we'll invite you to our house for Independence Day if you do!