Friday, December 21, 2012

Tits The Season

That's not a typo, friends. That's how my husband has responded to almost every statement I've made this week in regards to Christmas.

And then does one of the following:
a) honks my boobs
b) honks his own boobs
c) attempts to honky my boobs, and then I attempt to knee him in the baby-maker

TMI? Maybe, but we're all friends here and friends tell you things that make you uncomfortable sometimes. 

A few holiday highlights from my week...

*A Christmas Story was on the other day. The kids had no interest in watching it with me because it was "too weird" and "not even a cartoon". Guess who then got to learn all of the words to  'Santa Has His Eyes On Me' as sung by  Spongebob Squarepants? Me. SONOFABITCH!

*I've still got a few Christmas cards to mail out, but I lost my sheet of Santa and his reindeer stamps. I'd go to the post office and buy more, but I also had the pleasure of standing in line at the post office this week to pick up a package. I'm now avoiding that place like the plague! Have you ever been to the post office the week before Christmas? Have mercy! The 10 people in front of me seemed to move at a snail's pace as I tried REALLY hard to block out the voice of the lady 3 people behind me; "Ya ever drink this Minute Maid grape juice? Man it's good! It's really busy today! Ho ho ho! I should've brushed my hair ...! Hey, ma'am, would you mind holding my grape juice while I fill out these forms?"

*As of Wednesday, I'm 99% finished with my Christmas shopping! Hooray! As of right this moment, I'm 0% finished with my Christmas wrapping, but isn't that what December 24 is for?

*We *might* have given the Bossman his 'enjoy the holiday break' gift basket the other day. It *definitely* wasn't a Christmas gift because that's against the rules. Also it *definitely* wasn't filled with beef jerky and beer. 

*I had the morning off yesterday so that I could attend Mia's Christmas party at school, and because Jack Frost is a real butthole, the district called a snow day instead. After I'd already had Mia get in the shower. She was super bummed at first, but definitely perked up when I told her that she didn't have to go back to school until January!

* Today was the Christmas party at work. It is, hands down, my favorite day of the year at work. I smile, I laugh, I get a little bit choked up every single year. Why? Because I have the best job in the world, and I work with the best people in the world. The festivities included: pancake breakfast, carnival games and a visit from Santa, Christmas entertainment (this was my first year organizing the entertainment, and I wish I could post videos of our people performing - they were awesome and made me so proud!), gifts and more gifts, and then the staff luncheon where I won twenty bucks! Of course, my initial reaction to having $20 was "Do you know how many Kit Kat bars I could buy with twenty bucks?!" 

*Grandma Debbie came down for a few days and took the girls out today for some shopping and ice cream. Separately! First, she and Mar went to pick out new shoes and then went for lunch and dessert. Then she turned around and picked up Mia for an identical outing. She's a brave woman, that Grandma Debbie! I don't know that there's enough ice cream in all of Missouri to make me take each girl out shoe shopping - separately - in the same day! Also, they apparently did a little more shopping because Mia said "Mommy, I'm not EVEN going to tell you what the necklace we bought you looks like!" Oh, my first born, she's terrible at keeping secrets!

* Tonight we found a house in between GC and Harrisonville that has their Christmas display set to music from a radio station! For locals: Tieman Rd, turn your station to 102.7, sit and enjoy.  Also, maybe turn on your hazard lights because the house sits at the top of a hill past all of the S curves!

Now I'm enjoying the beginning of our long holiday break. I don't know if it's vacation euphoria or what, but I am loving life at the moment. All children - plus Helga the wonder puppy - are curled up in Mommy & Daddy's bed sleeping soundly.

Cue wine and Pinterest right.about.now! Fa la la la la, la la la la....