Friday, February 10, 2012

Fergie & Jesus

Someone (maybe it was me...) hit the snooze button too many times this morning and woke up too late for Mia to catch the bus. Someone (definitely me this time) was kind enough to drive her to school after busting ass in the daily transformation that takes us from Flock of Seagulls to Insert Name of Band With Hair That's Better Than Flock of Seagulls.

After a quick stop at the gas station for the breakfast of champions - coffee & cigarettes for me, strawberry milk & breakfast pizza for her - we were rockin' down the highway on our way to the elementary school. When I say rockin', I mean rockin'.

You know that awkward moment when you pass someone on the road and they're obviously feeling the music? You glance over. They glance over. You either pretend not to laugh, or you feel embarrassed for them. They either do a drive-by serenade, or look away in shame. I'm that lady who looks you in the eye and never misses a beat in the song while giving you a thumbs up. "Hello there, fellow traveler! Let me vogue for you as the sun slowly rises..."

I'm not exaggerating. Not only did I vogue, I also did the swim, and the robot to this song. (Yes, I am the epitome of suburban motherhood, driving my Yukon while wearing a cardigan, doing those dance moves to that song. In my defense though, I don't know how to pop or lock.) Mia loved it so much I had to tell her to calm down before she shot strawberry milk out of her nose.

It's a short drive to the school. Maybe 3 songs worth of drive time would be my guess. Once the school was in our line of sight one of my all-time top jams came on. 



If the morning commute had a karaoke contest, I would've won the top prize today. I did my best Bowie impersonation, only to have Mia tell me as I pull up to the school "Mommy, stop singing. You're gonna give me nightmares."

I gave her the raised eyebrow and informed her that I had a voice that sounds like a combination of Fergie and Jesus. My awesome movie reference was completely lost on this genius 6 year old. If I'd said my singing abilities rank up there with Beethoven's composing abilities, maybe she would've giggled. Instead, I got an impatient eye roll. "Love ya, Mom. Bye!"

I happen to have a perfectly nice singing voice. THANKYOUVERYMUCH Mia!

Marlee, on the other hand, begged me later this afternoon to sing. "Yowda! Sing yowda!" when this one came on. How could I refuse? I spoil these kids sometimes.

ME: Hey Mar, do you like when Mommy sings?
MARLEE: Yup! You know all da words!
ME: Who does Mom sound like when she sings?
MARLEE: Tayyer Swif! Oh, and you sound yike Mommy too!
ME: Aw! Hey, do you think I sound like a cross between Fergie & Jesus, Boo?
MARLEE: Yet's not talk about dat...

What do you do that embarrasses  your loved ones? Tell me I'm not alone in my love for the Commuter Concert sessions.