When I came home from work tonight, Chris was doing the dishes I conveniently didn't get to the last few nights. He may or may not have been motivated by last night's "Chriiiiis! Can you please do the dishes tomorrow for me?!" during last night's supper-making temper tantrum (I'm working with 3 feet of counter space, I feel entitled to a hissy fit any time I cook), but we'll pretend for the sake of pretending that he did it because he's appreciative of how hard I work all day.
Before long, I joined him in the kitchen to start the preparations for tonight's meal: chicken gyros that I found on Pinterest over the weekend and since I'm practically incapable of cooking without music blaring, my next move was to log in to my Pandora account and walk back to my work space.
Typically, my stations du jour are Grace Potter & the Nocturnals, Van Morrison, and the Silversun Pickups. Tonight, I wasn't expecting it when my Best of the 80s Reloaded station blasted through the speakers at full volume.
I decided to leave it and began de-boning a chicken while my husband pulled sink duty. Today was a fun day, and it called for some fun music. Plus the combination of totally rad 80s tunes and my husband always makes for an interesting time.
The following is a damn-near exact transcript of the next 30 minutes or so - including the playlist.
'Everybody Wants To Rule The World" - Tears For Fears
Me: Oh yeeeeah! heading to the fridge to get a drink Hey what kind of horrible husband doesn't have cold soda waiting in the fridge when his wife gets home from work?
Chris: The kind of husband that does the dishes because his wife won't.
Chris: You know the music of the 80s was the basis of modern techno, right?
Me: Oh bullshit! Techno sucks.
Chris: Techno is awesome. Listen to that synthesizer - you know I'm right babe.
Me: I hate you.
'Here I Go Again' - Whitesnake
Me: Yessss! You'd better sing this one!
Chris: I don't even know what this is.
Me: Yes you do. This song is bad ass! Singing in my best hair-band voice 'And I've made up my mind, I ain't wastin no more tiiiime'
Chris: Who sings this?
Me: I don't know - Cinderella?
Chris: What? No! Whitesnake - HA!
Me: Shut up...Hey know who I think should sing this? Your dad's barbershop quartet. Singing again 'Here I go (go, go, go baby ooooh) again on my own (owwwwwwn yeah yeah yeah owwwwn)...'
Chris: I'd pay to see that. Well, probably not.
Me: I would. That would be sooo funny!
'Safety Dance' - Men Without Hats
Chris: Can we turn it off? Seriously - the 80s was the worst era for music.
Me: NO THEY WERE NOT! turning so fast I almost gave myself whiplash
Chris: Yes they were. Well, maybe the 90s were the worst.
Me: How can the 90s be the worst?
Chris: Ok, maybe not the 90s either. The 90s gave us grunge.
Me: ...and the 'That's My Jam' collection! Every song on that baby is a classic!
Chris: no words, just head shaking Have you ever seen this video?
Me: Isn't it about midgets and fairy tales or something?
Chris: What?! No, it's got A midget in it, and they're dancing through an English town. It's not about midgets though. Or fairy tales.
Me: It has a dwarf, that's a fairy tale in my book.
'Under Pressure' - Queen
(Opening chords, we both freeze pretending it's Vanilla Ice, even though that's 90s music)
Me: Yo, VIP - Let's kick it! Followed by random dance moves that only white folks do.
Chris: This isn't Ice Ice Baby.
Me: Um I know that, butthole. Hey I'm really good at de-boning chicken. I'm going to take a break and eat these wing pieces though. You're not supposed to use those parts in gyros. Greek rule.
Chris: Yeah...hey you look pretty hot with all of that chicken fat and skin on your hands...
Me: singing "Da da dun"
Chris: This song's kind of gay actually.
Me: Freddie Mercury wasn't the most masculine dude in the world...
Chris: This is Queen?!
Chris: I never knew that! It doesn't sound like you're typical Queen song!
Me: There's a typical Queen sound? I think they're pretty diverse personally. Who did you think it was?
Chris: I don't know. Scorpions maybe?
Jen: Hell no this isn't Scorpions! You'd know if it was Scorpions because I'd have to announce it!
Chris: Yeah, that would've definitely happened.
'What Is Love' - Haddaway
Chris: Oh yeah! immediately starts dancing like Night At the Roxbury
Me: This is a 90s song! Fail!
Chris: Dance with me babe! pins me to the counter dancing
Me: Look! Miles is dancing like they do in the movie!
Chris: He's got moves like his daddy, don't you buddy!
Me: This song makes me want to kill myself... Followed by very little conversation for the rest of the song.
'Just What I Needed' - The Cars
Me: Ha! You hate The Cars! Ha ha! Doing a Ric Ocasek voice "as long as it was deep - yeah!"
Chris: This song needs to end fast.
Me: random head swivel moves that moms love (with puckered lips for added effect)
Chris: wipes dish water all over my neck, knowing I won't touch him because I'm still pulling chicken.
Me: Gross! Stop!
Chris: Eew disgusting! Soapy water! Yuck!
Me: half-ass attempting to kick him in the baby maker Hey will you turn on the water so I can wash my hands?
Chris: Why don't you just dunk them in the dishwater?
Me: Because they're dirty and your water's dirty and if I 'wash' my hands in your water they won't be clean and if my chicken hands go into the water that you're washing dishes in then you'll have to get new dish water. Don't waste water, Chris!
Chris: Whatever. wipes water on my neck again as I wash my hands.
Me: Uggggggh! I hate you!
Chris: Did he just say 'I needed someone to bleed'?
Me: I think he says 'please'. Why would he say bleed?
'Who's Crying Now' - Journey
Me: Get ready to hear me sing!!!!
Chris: You sound nothing like this guy...
Me: His name is Steve Perry and I hit the high notes just. like. he. does.
Chris: You don't even know the words to this song!
Me: mumbling Something something something WHO'S CRYIN NOW....
Chris: laughing and mocking me
Me: One heart born to run... something somethiiiiing...WHO'S CRYIN NOW....
Chris: Wow! You really do sound just like him...
Me: Told ya! Supper's ready!
What's your 80s music guilty pleasure?
Here's mine. Enjoy.