Thursday, July 25, 2013

To The Lady I Flipped Off Tonight...

It was right after 4PM, at the stoplight in front of CVS in Harrisonville. You looked to be pushing 70, yellow teased hair, driving an ivory Lincoln MKZ. I was the younger dark-haired lady in the big black Yukon. Surely you haven't forgotten our adventure already, have you?

See, the thing about that CVS is that they have an exit that lets out directly onto Commercial Street, right into the line for the stoplight. If a person is unfortunate enough to use that exit during rush hour, they're basically stuck there until another kind driver pauses and motions for them to pull out ahead of them.

I hate to be that person - the one who's waiting. It makes my palms sweat and that, Lincoln Lady, is disgusting. But, I digress...

While in line at the stop light in front of CVS, my car was in front of that exit and there was a man in a black car waiting to be let out. Yes, I noticed that the light had turned green but with there being six other cars ahead of mine, I felt it safe to pause and let him out in front of me. So, I kept my foot planted on the break and wiggled my fingers at him to go ahead.

Had your head not been so far up your own ass, you would've likely noticed me motioning for him to pull forward. You obviously didn't notice that though, and took that opportunity to lay on your horn and gesture at me as if I were an idiot.

I'm no idiot, ma'am, I was just being courteous to a fellow driver. Sure, I could've ignored your rudeness, but it seriously pisses me off when I'm in the middle of being nice to a stranger and some asshole has to go and ruin it for everyone!

And so, at that moment I found it completely appropriate to extend my arm out the window, fly that bird, and yell, "Fuck off, you old bitch!"

Childish, yes, but very satisfying in the moment. I'm a live in the moment kind of gal. Forgive me.

Anyway, I hope you made it to your destination safely! I know you were in a hurry to get there!

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