Hello, Dearie

Today while talking to a coworker, she said "I wish I could be like that - you're just happy and laughing all of the time"... and it almost killed me.

I haven't been happy in about a month. Sure, I've been happy, but I've also been stressed, emotional, and bitter - and I absolutely HATE that.

"It's a conscious effort - to be happy all of the time. I had to basically train myself to be like this years ago. My two mantras in life are 1.) Everything happens for a reason, and 2.) If it's a bad day, get up and start over the next day."

Is it really a conscious effort though - this whole business of smiling through your frustration? I don't think it is anymore. I think it's a coping mechanism and it works really well sometimes until I hit a wall that I can't break through. At that point it just feels phoney and so for the last month - despite many moments of awesomeness with my family and friends - I've retreated into my own little world. 

Well, maybe not my own little world, but the town of Storybrooke at least. Every night after supper, after the kids are in bed, we haul the snacks upstairs and indulge in "our show". Escapism at it's finest, y'all!

Guys, I've been bingewatching "Once Upon A Time" on Netflix like my life depends on it... Do you even watch this show? BECAUSE YOU FREAKING SHOULD!!!

Quick synopsis: Evil Queen casts a spell over everyone in the Enchanted Forrest to get revenge on Snow White and Prince Charming. The spell causes some of the inhabitants of the Enchanted Forrest to be transported to a new realm in Storybrooke, Maine. The spell causes them to lose all of their memories of who they were in the Enchanted Forrest, and the rest...#spoilers...

In my own little fairy tale, there's good and there's evil (I'm good, duh) just like in the show, and sometimes good gets the upper hand while evil plots its revenge. Right now, evil has the has the upper hand in my little saga. And. It. Blows. (Oh, I know- terribly passive aggressive of me, but I can't go into the details. Once a tease, always a tease...) 

If you watch OUAT though, you know that that evil queen eventually slips up and hangs itself, allowing the good to defeat her. Then, everyone in the kingdom gets to live happily ever after until the next battle begins.

I feel like I'm half fan-girling over this show and half rambling psychotically... basically, though, I'm telling myself that it's time to start over and be happy. You can't change what's already happened, but you can be happy while you prepare for what comes next. 

"Believing in the possibility of a happy ending is a very powerful thing..." - Snow White, OUAT

Also

"Jennifer, stop being a pissy bitch because it's bringing morale down..." - Me, to my self

P.S. For the record, Rumplestiltskin is the most perfect character in the history of Storybrooke. It needed to be said. You're welcome, dearies.