The internet has a way of making me question my own coolness on a regular basis. Not in a competitive manner, or even an envious manner - but definitely in a 'am I too fucking old to get this, or what?' manner.
Chris and I have had many discussions on the following:
Fake glasses. It's just beyond my comprehension and to be honest, it gives me anxiety to imagine wearing them myself. If I even attempted, I figure this convo would definitely happen:
FRIEND: Jen! I had no idea you wore glasses!
ME: Um... These are fake. I just thought they'd make me look brainy...
FRIEND: Oh they DO! You look so smart!
ME: ... as opposed to my typical head-cocked look of confusion...
Selfies. How do people squeeze in 50 self portraits in a Walmart bathroom in under 10 minutes? I don't recall a time that I've ever had any thought in a public bathroom that didn't correlate to the transmission of Hepatitis. Plus, who wants 50 photos of yourself looking up and slightly to the right? Not me.
Harlem Shake. Is this supposed to be funny because it's chaotic or is it staged chaos and that's why it's funny? Or am I completely wrong and it's only funny because everyone uses the same props but in different scenarios? I felt the same confusion with Gangnam Style. Were people addicted to the dance or the song that nobody feels like translating? Or... was it Jackie Chan's husky brother that made the entire thing? Hmmm!
Skinny jeans for men. This is the one at the top of Chris's list. His reasoning:
- They're gay.
- How are they any different than tights?
- They're just really gay.
Personally, the only thing that I notice about a man in skinny jeans is whether his thighs are smaller than mine are. Nine times out of ten, they are.
Hashtags. Maybe I've done it a few times, just to try it out. It's not satisfying though, this hashtag thing. Is there a master list of hashtags that you're supposed to be going off of? Are you supposed to make one up and just go with it? Is it impolite to use someone else's hashtag? AM I THE ONLY PERSON WHO READS HASHTAG AS HASHBROWN?
Fingernail art. One question: how do you not screw up when painting with your opposite hand? I'd have a rainbow clear up to my damn elbow.
Dubstep. This is another on Chris's list. I actually responded with "What the hell is a dubstep?" He told me it's kind of like techno (which his lame ass loves, by the way), so yes, I agree with adding it to the list. I've always either been too old or not high enough to enjoy techno, and now, dubstep.
Texting abbreviations. Look, the only ones I know are OMG and LOL. Aside from that, I have to seriously think about what the abbreviation stands for. If I'm thinking more about what you're not saying than what you're trying to tell me, it's not worth it. (Unless it's WWMMD because what Macho Man would do is always worth it.)
Are we lame? Officially not cool?
Tell me something that totally baffles you and leaves you wondering if you're old!
Yes, yes, yes & yes to all of them.....LAME! But then again we all know how old I am!
ReplyDeleteHey I thought Gangnam Style was your favorite song? But only when Marlee's singing it!
DeleteOh thank god, I was worried I was the only one who felt like this. Maybe we are just getting older and wiser, but I prefer t think that people younger than us are just really weird.
ReplyDeleteI just always find myself wondering - if I think all of this is so strange, how old do I seem to them with my rants about the mortgage company and thrilling trips to the grocery store! I must seem geriatric!
DeleteOh the Harlem Shake, its better then Gangnam Style right?? It's my ring tone (Harlem Shake not Gangnam style) You dance every time it goes off to burn a calorie or two.
ReplyDeleteHey I do selfies, but not in a Walmart bathroom that is just WEIRD!!! And why would you want to take a photo in a nasty bathroom when you should be pissing. Why would you even think of that. Yuk. Never crossed my mind.
why they named it "hashtag" it is to close to hashmarks, which is not a cool thing. NO ONE wants anyone to know they have hashmarks in their shorts.
ReplyDeleteI've gotta admit I kind of like the Harlem Shake. Although, I don't totally get it either. But, I think that's the point.
ReplyDeleteIt's just catchy. Makes me wanna get up & dance too.
Selfies....These are my biggest pet peeve right now. How big of an ego do you have to have to post these?? Seriously! And they're usually awful. HATE them!!
Skinny jeans on men. Or women. I don't like them. Maybe I'm just jealous that I could never get away with that.
Hash tags....whoever thought of these?? I'm with you. It it takes me longer to figure out what they're saying, than it did the message, just pisses me off.
Nail art??? These girls need a job. Who has time for that shit??
I am way older than you. So I have a good excuse for not understanding these odd things. But, it sure is nice to see other people hate the same things I do. LOL
I don't get hashtags or skinny jeans either. I think the universe is trying to f*ck with us, no?
ReplyDeleteI have teens, so I 'Think' that I am totally hip to all these things. THINK being the word here people. I wore fake glasses to look smart 20 years ago. I had a crush on a nerd....long story. Skinny jeans on men, don't get it either unless your name is Mick and your last name is Jagger. Can I admit here that I announced to my family one weekend that I wanted us to do a Family Harlem Shake video? Yeah, they all looked at me like I was crazy. #Hashtag??Should I be doing this? Will it help me somehow?
ReplyDeleteDubstep......UUGGGGHHHHH this one annoys me. So my girls were talking about Dubstep. I asked "what is dubstep?" So they let me listen to it. I said "Oh, you mean techno music?" They rolled their eyes and said, "OH MY GOD MOM, not techno!" I said "YES, techno!! I used to go to clubs in my twenties and dance to techno!" And they said "NO, dubstep is so much different! You soooooo don't know what you are talking about mom!"
And that is why my first sentence on this comment started out with saying I only "THINK" I am cool. My teenagers bring me back to reality.