Daddy's Conference Call

This is how a typical phone call works at our house...

"Ya'll be real quiet for a few minutes so Mommy can make this phone call, please!"

"Ok!"

3-2-1... Then all hell breaks loose..

It's like a primal instinct kicks in and causes children to act like complete lunatics when the phone begins to ring. There you go, a ringing telephone is like a dog whistle for littles.

At this point, I'm used to it. Sure I still hope that they'll actually stay quiet when I'm on the phone with the mortgage company, but do I honestly expect things to go smoothly? Nope!

Imagine the pure enjoyment I got when Chris called this morning to tell me how his conference call had went...

CHRIS: You know how I had that conference call this morning?

ME: Yeah, how'd it go?

CHRIS: Two minutes in, Miles is right next to me yelling "I chips, Dah-yee? I chips?". So I got him chips and he went to the living room. As soon as I got started talking again, he runs in again screaming "Chips! Dah-yee! Hell-ya eat chips!".

ME: (uncontrollable laughter)

CHRIS: So then I had to go in and steal the Cheetos away from the dog. When he finally calmed down I turned on Caillou for him and he was great until freaking Netflix froze up. "Dah-yeeeeeeeeee! Caillouuuuuuuuuu! Dah-yeeeeeeeeeee!"

ME: So you fixed it and then he was good again, right? Do you think the people on the conference call could hear him?

CHRIS: Um yeah, pretty sure they heard him yelling but then he was pretty good for a while...until he pooped his pants. I had to change his diaper while I was on the phone and I don't think I had myself muted at that point. Have you ever changed a diaper while leading a conference call?

ME: (more uncontrollable laughter) No, babe. I've never done that!

Mr. Palis, you've one-upped me as a parent today and I bow to your greatness!