Mother's Day: Part 2

If you read yesterday's Mother's Day ode to my children, you might remember that our celebration agenda included a dish washing boycott (me), trampoline jumping (kids), and margarita drinking (both...kidding, I'm kidding). The kids did get that trampoline time, and I stood firm on my dish soap picket line. 

The margarita? That never happened. I had wine around midnight though, and here's why...

The birthday scooter AKA death trap

 Mia asked Granny & Papa for a scooter for her birthday last Wednesday. She's had one at Dad's house for a few years now, but life just wasn't complete without a scooter at Mom's house too. And so, she got a scooter.

Being the A+ mama that I am, I forgot the scooter was still in the back of my car, unopened, until yesterday when Granny came by to hang out. Granny's been recouping from tummy surgery, so we haven't got to play much lately ( i.e. my kids will most likely accidentally maim her). We opened that shiny new scooter, popped up the handlebars, and within a few minutes Sis was scooting around like a seasoned pro.

About, eh, 20 minutes in to the Garden City X Games 2012 my 'seasoned pro' made a graceful sweeping right turn and totally bit it in Jack's driveway. Stomach plant, both arms stretched out in front of her with her left hand folded oddly under her forearm. "Whaaaaaaaa mmmmmmmaaaaaa!!!!!"

I don't want to sound like an unsympathetic mother, but my oldest baby also happens to be my accident prone child, and my crier. We came inside, tears a'flowing, and began our exam of the left wrist: that sucker was huge! 

My mama instincts kicked in and I got her a few Ibuprofen and decided that we needed to ice down her wrist before rushing off to the ER. Of course, the medical ice pack was missing from the shelf in the freezer, so the sack lunch ice pack would have to do... and it did work very well once I finally pried it from the spot where it'd been solidly frozen for the last few.

By now, Sis was sweating and still howling in pain. She could raise her hand upwards, but couldn't turn it from side to side. I sent the hubs a message at work telling him what had happened and that we were icing it down. 

Minutes after sending that message, my sweet husband pulled into the driveway - he'd left work early to surprise me for Mother's Day, gifts in hand, with hopes of taking us all out for a nice supper. What a futile attempt at normalcy, right? Not in this life, pal! Not at Chez Palis! NOT ON MOTHER'S DAY!

We rounded up a few necessities (tablet, stuffed Link doll, pillow) for MiMi, and dropped the babies off with the lifesaving Uncle Jimmy & Aunt Laura, then headed to the local emergency room. 

Notice the tears and grape popsicle mustache

By the time we got there, our girl was in much better spirits, and only whimpering every once in a while. 

She brought in the dish towel that once held the ice pack, but not the ice pack itself

I signed a few releases, and after a short wait, we were led back to a room in the back. Soon after, the nurse came in and asked Mia what'd happened. 

MIA: "Well I have a little sister named Marlee...and...she... I was going to do some tricks .... my granny got me a scooter for my birthday - but not like the one at my dad's house because this one is a Razor scooter and not a Sweet Pea..."

ME (laughing): "Sis... today..."

MIA: "I fell in the driveway and hurt my wrist. I fell off my new scooter."

They left us there for awhile and we listened to Mia jabber about everything under the sun until the doctor came in and checked her out.

DR: "So you hurt your wrist, huh? What happened?"

MIA: "Well, um..."

ME: "Short version please!"

MIA: "I was doing cool tricks and I fell off of my scooter."

DR: "Oh no! That scooter sounds dangerous!"

MIA: "Yeah, I guess I shoulda waited til I was 24 or somethin to get one..."

The radiology tech came back and 'took her picture'.

XRAY: "We're going to take some pictures of your wrist, ok?"

MIA: "Ok."

XRAY: "What happened?"

MIA: "Scooter accident."

By that point, the poor kid was tired, hungry, and sleepy. She didn't care who talked to her or what they said, she just wanted to get out of there. Another 30 minutes or so went by before the doctor poked his head in and told us it was "time for show and tell" while motioning for Chris and I to follow him to the nurses station to view the X-rays.

He told us it was a radial fracture and showed us where the break was. She'd need a cast for 4-6 weeks blah blah blah...I was really distracted by this song blasting in the background. 

CHRIS: "Isn't this one of your jams?"

ME: "You know it's one of my freaking jams!"

DR: "Make sure she keeps it dry, elevate and ice it tonight...."

When we went back in, the nurse was putting Mia's hand in a splint and the doctor followed us in telling her that she'd be getting a cast sometime this week.

DR: "I can tell you take good care of yourself, don't you?"

MIA: "Uh huh."

DR: "Do you smoke?"

MIA: "No!"

DR: "Good...very good. Do you drink?"

MIA: "I'm only 7!"

DR: "But do you drink? I know you're 7."

MIA: "No way!"

DR: "Good girl! Now to take care of that cast..."

The doctors and nurses were great with her and she left with a smile on her face even though she was hurting. They told us to follow up with our regular doctor today for a referral to the Ortho clinic for her cast.

Because I'm ridiculous, I love to make my kids give me a thumbs up in pictures. I know they'll make fun of me someday for it.

CHRIS: "Mia, what color cast are you going to get?"

MIA: "Do they have lavender? I think I want lavender, Mom!"

ME: "Probably, sis. They probably have lavender."

We made a pit stop at McDonald's afterward for her, and one at Sonic for Mommy & Daddy. 

CHRIS: "This is a special Mother's Day dinner, babe."

ME: "Shut up. Just shut up."

After picking up the little ones, we came home to a destroyed house and were glad to help everyone into bed. Two hours went by without incident. It was blissful to just sit and not think for awhile after such a long day.

And then...we heard Marlee scream. For only the second time in her potty-trained existence, Boo had peed the bed. Our bed. We'd had her sleep in our bed so that Mia would be comfortable in her room. Sheets were stripped off, pee soaked jammies were changed. Screaming/stinky middle child was soothed and cleaned up. Then everything was calm again and I had that much deserved glass of wine.

We got her cast put on today, and she'll keep it until June 12. They gave her white. Plain, boring white.

"I tried to do a real good smile, Mommy!"

Of course we doctored it up.

Yes, that IS a brand new necklace featuring a rhinestone pegasus! Thanks for noticing!

I'm going to guess that she's the first little girl in the history of little girls with a broken wrist to cover her cast in Hello Kitty duct tape. Girlfriend is rockin' that cast, and she's even got a few signatures already - starting with Uncle Jimmy.

He said his signature would take up the entire cast. It didn't. What. A. Liar.

I'm sure she'll have plenty more by the time it comes off.

The big black spot is Marlee's contribution. She says it's a butt.

*****
If you don't mind, leave a message for Mia in the comments section - like a virtual signature for her Hello Kitty cast.

I know she'll get a kick out of it, and it would mean a lot!

They Get It From Their Mama

I heard it's Mother's Day today, so let's celebrate...

How am I celebrating? By writing this blog to the sweet tunes of Steppenwolf, with an acoustic accompaniment of Miles beating a butter knife against the dryer. Is that all? Oh no, absolutely not. I'm going to have a margarita for lunch and then maybe do the dishes. A mama's got to treat herself sometimes, you know!

Every year I psych myself up thinking I'm going to wake up to a clean house and breakfast in bed, all of the children bathed and dressed in cute outfits. There'll be fresh flowers and handmade cards, and a small box with a pretty bow on top from my baby daddy... and every year, Chris goes to work, I get up and make the kids cold cereal and then we putter around the house in our jammies (them making messes, me half-ass cleaning up said messes) until we decide to go outside and play. We may or may not eat lunch, and I most likely won't get the house completely cleaned, but I will spend the day having fun with the little people who call me Mommy.

One thing that I love about my kiddos is that they each have their own little persona: The Smart One (Mia), The Wild One (Marlee), and The Cute One (Miles). Another thing that I love about them though is that I can see bits and pieces of myself in each one. Sometimes those little quirks make me beam with pride and other times they make me shake my head in embarrassment.

Mia Simone

Mia, age 3 months

1. She has an addiction to knowledge. My girl will spend hours researching certain topics on Wikipedia and then reciting what she's learned at random times. She's destined for Jeopardy stardom. She gets that from her mama.
2. Big ole dimples and hair that's wavy in the back and stick straight in the front. She gets that from her mama. I'm sorry about that one Sis! You too will love your straightening iron someday. 
3. The ability to memorize song lyrics after one listening experience, and a pretty decent singing voice to boot. Girl can do some in-car karaoke like nobody's business. She gets that from her mama.
4. A preference for red meat or fresh seafood when we go out to eat. You know, the most expensive things on the menu... She'll clean her plate though, so that kind of eases the sting when the check comes. She gets that from her mama.
5. The ability to turn off the child and turn on the adult in ninety to nothing. My firstborn is the responsible one, the nurturer, the caretaker whether she's doting on her friends, her dolls, or her mama on a rough day. I was like that as a child. I got that from my mama, she gets it from her mama.

Mia, age 6

Marlee Cole

Marlee, 7 months

1. The kid is sassy. She has a strong opinion about everything. EVERYTHING. And she's not afraid to share it with you, despite the fact that she knows you won't see her point of view. She gets that from her mama.
2. All of her birth marks and moles are mirror images of mine: discoloration right below her rib cage, double mole 'snake bite' on her hip, mole on the toe, palm of her hand, right arm pit. Does she get that from her mama? Obviously. And it's creepy as shit.
3. Miss Thang loves some makeup. She's got an affinity for the glamorous, and every day is a reason to feel pretty. She gets that from her mama.
4. Boo eats tomatoes like they're candy. Freshly washed or covered with dirt straight from the garden, whole or sliced, cooked or raw my middle child will chow down on 'maters. She gets that from her mama.
5. If she needs to pick her nose, she does it. She also cusses like a damn sailor. It's embarrassing and she gets it from her mama.

Marlee, age 3 1/2

Miles Christopher

Miles, age 2 months

1.  Brother is a morning person. He wakes up smiling and happy, and just can't wait to let everyone know that he's up and ready to start the day. He gets that from his mama.
2. He's perfectly content with snacking all day on the go so that he doesn't have to actually sit down and eat a meal. If you slow down, you might miss something good, right? He gets that from his mama.
3. Miles laughs at the most inappropriate times. He finds humor in the most awkward situations and then has to hide his face in mid-giggle when he gets caught if he doesn't want a scolding. He gets that from his mama.
4. Do you remember Charlton H. Banks from 'The Fresh Prince of Bel Air'? My little fella dances just like him, and it's not from watching it on TV and practicing. He gets that from his mama, finger snapping and everything.
5. He's got a quick temper. One minute he's smiling, and the next, he's hot mad and throwing something across the room. That's not something that Daddy does, he definitely gets that from his mama.

Miles, age 21 months

If it weren't for these little turds, I wouldn't have the honor of being a mama. It's probably the best thing about living this crazy life of mine. Right now, they're dying to go jump on the new trampoline so it's time to end this post.

It's Mother's Day - celebrate it with memories of your own mother, or by making memories with your own kiddos. Don't do the dishes, but do have a margarita. You've earned it!